Elevator Speech

#1 - Coworkers badmouthing other coworkers.
You're an idiot. Other people can hear you.

#2 - Coworkers whisper-badmouthing other coworkers.
You're an idiot. Other people can still hear you.

#3 - People who whisper-read the news on the TV screen.
We can all read.

#4 - People who can't look up from their phone in time to get out at the correct floor.

#5 - People who are standing right at the door trying to get on as you're trying to exit.
This is not your own private elevator.